Having Khushuu with my Family

Bismillah

Being with the family, all of us together and engaged with each other is such an important part of loving each other actively and helping each other to be better individuals when the time comes to be apart from each other.

Many a times my husband has cautioned regarding spending time online and being careful that it does not take time away from the family, my various duties, and worshipping Allah with khushuu. In this case, I believe having khushuu or focus and full awareness, while being with the family, not being distracted in anyway, will bring the same benefits to the family, that are brought to the formal salaat (prayer).

One of the best ways to bring khushuu into your salaat is to worship Allah as if you see Him, because then your focus is fully on Him and on what you are doing while there in front of Him.

Similarly, having khushuu while with your family means shutting out the world’s distractions such as internet, phones, ipods, book/magazine reading, duties, etc. to the extent that your focus and your full attention and awareness is upon your family and you are fully engaged with each member inshallah.

There should be at least two times per day when family should be together physically and emotionally, enjoying each other, sharing about their day, any plans, concerns, frustrations, successes, seeking advice, and generally loving and laughing each other and together inshallah.

Furthermore, there should be special time with the husband and wife inshallah, where not even the distraction of children is allowed. The best times would probably be after Fajr before the day starts and/or after Isha and putting the children and their own personal day to bed inshallah.

The couple time need not be especially intimate or romantic each and every time, but it should be the time when the two strive to nurture and renew each with soft touches, gentle words, and tender hugs.

Couple time is essential to having a strong and steadfast marriage, which will translate to a strong and steadfast family inshallah. When the couple takes time to focus on just each other, not just as part of the duty to be intimate, but fully enjoying their time, physically, mentally, and emotionally, their trust and reliance on each other is strengthened and any cracks are healed before they turn into open festering sores inshallah.