Showing Love to your Husband

Bismillah

Sometimes, in the busy-ness of my day, I forget to Love my husband, and when this continues without my paying attention, I may sometimes find myself at a place where my husband becomes just another duty or obligation to deal with.

This is obviously not what marriage is about. Allah says “Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think” 30:21.

With my husband, there should be love in our hearts, care in our treatment of each other, including cherishing, and we should live together in tranquility and contentment, not as a duty or obligation or just tolerance of each other.

Now, I think anyone who knows about marriage will tell you it takes work and a lot of it, done constantly, in order to flourish and be successful inshallah. That does not mean the couple don’t love each other, it just means that it not as easy and unencumbered the way movies and stories, which are primarily made for entertainment, portray.

Working at a marriage means working at yourself, learning new things, applying what works, changing what doesn’t, listening patiently and a whole host of other skills and application that one may not have known before entering into wedded bliss.

One of the things one has to work on, or more like, to do work on, is the love you have in your heart for your spouse, by keeping it at the forefront, nourishing it regularly, and constantly attending to it the way one would a cherished garden inshallah.

So here are some of my ideas on what I can do, practically, to show love to my husband, to nourish the garden of our love inshallah.

- Copy the actions of the wives of the Prophet (salallahu alayhe wasalaam) in their treatment of their husband (more details on this later).

- Hold my husband in my arms so he may feel the whole of me right there with him, physically, and draw what strength or fulfillment he may need after a hard day of work and dealing with the world outside our home.

- Take time to look into his eyes, looking at his face, smiling warmly, with the my full focus on him, so he knows I’m there and present, seeing him and being pleased at what I see. At the same time, letting my heart soak in and refill with my love for the man I married with eyes wide open mashAllah

- Compliment my husband regularly, just because he is my husband and that’s a hard job in and of itself, with special attention paid when he does something particularly endearing or hard or that I had requested be done

- Thank my husband effusively whenever possible, for doing things he is supposed to, as well for those not necessarily in his sphere, for trying, for helping, etc.

- Tell him I love him often, when we are alone, with our kids around, with family, whispered to him while in public, etc. Whenever I remember inshallah or the situation warrants or just as cherry on top the ice cream Sunday!

- Do sweet things for my husband, especially those I know he will enjoy. Some sweet things are massages (can just be across the shoulders to relieve tension), preparing a special meal or desert, creating a romantic atmosphere, surprising him with a small present (store bought or handmade), etc.

There are many things one can do to show love to the husband, some are actual things, some are words, and some are can only be felt by him so your actions will speak the most inshallah. It does take work make a beautiful marriage and like a garden, the more TLC you give it, the more it will flourish a testimony of true and abiding love inshallah.